Setting boundaries is a healthy part of life, whether or not you are dealing with addiction. Setting a boundary is the best way to help us feel worthy and confident and can aid in staying sober. Defined boundaries are best for addiction recovery because they limit your exposure to substances, reduce interaction with other addicts, and can help others see your dedication to this sober journey. 

What Is A Boundary?

There are many different types of boundaries, but a good rule of thumb to identify a boundary is something that protects you or provides peace of mind. 

There are physical, mental, material, spiritual, and emotional boundaries that can be set. The biggest thing to remember about boundaries is that you get to set them. Respecting a boundary and others will help everyone feel comfortable in every space. 

Some examples of boundaries include:

• Avoiding social events where drinking or substances may be present
• Limiting interaction with people who make you feel small, bully you, test your sobriety, etc. 
• Creating safe sober spaces like your bedroom, breakfast nook, etc. where no one else is allowed to partake in substances
• Taking time for rest and relaxation
• Keeping to a daily schedule or sober routine
• Only taking so many days or hours out of your personal time to spend with others
• Separating finances or creating a strict budget for yourself
• Having conversations with others about avoiding problematic substances, talking about how their words have affected you, or how they can better serve you

Protecting Your Sobriety

For individuals dealing with addiction, setting boundaries in their physical and social life will protect sobriety. After you have dedicated time to getting sober, those who want to reverse your hard work do not have a place in your life. Setting boundaries (in a friendly and clear way) can limit the peer pressure you may experience. 

Protecting your sobriety can look like telling your roommates to not bring alcohol into the home. It can also look like leaving friend groups that only want to use substances to have fun. It can be difficult to set boundaries or lose friends, but your sobriety is worth it. 

Rebuilding Self Esteem

Addiction can strip down self-worth and cause shame. Setting expectations can aid in recovery as it helps you take control of your life. Rebuilding self-respect starts with learning about what you can and can’t handle, what is emotionally draining, and how much of yourself you can give to others. 

You may also benefit from setting a boundary about a commitment to personal well-being. This commitment will keep you on track to understanding more about yourself, giving yourself grace, and participating in recovery activities. Even on the hardest days, setting this boundary is almost like making a promise to yourself that you can’t break. 

Communicate

People in your life will not be able to respect your boundaries if they are not aware of what they are. Communicating your boundaries to friends and family is the only way for them to stand. Explain your boundary using non-blaming language, be assertive but respectful, and avoid apologizing for setting a boundary.  

Seek Support Of Trusted Family And Friends

Holding to your boundaries can be difficult when you don’t have the support of others. Finding a supportive group of people is crucial when you are on a sober journey. Boundaries are a great way to steer your relationships healthily. Achieving the best version of yourself is only possible when you identify what serves you and what doesn’t.

A support group, whether filled with those you know or strangers, will help reinforce the expectations you set for yourself. Sober support groups may also help provide you with ideas of boundaries to set. 

Challenge Guilt And Shame

When you restrict people or social activities in your life, it may come with some guilt. Limiting guilt and shame around addiction and sobriety is difficult enough, but feeling shame about setting boundaries can feel debilitating. When family and friends don’t support choices that make you happy, it can be hard to stay on your sober journey. 

Practice Self-Compassion

Setting boundaries can be hard, so it is ok to give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself as you navigate your new sobriety, set boundaries, and find new friends. It is important to learn from the experience and know it is acceptable to make mistakes. 

Addiction Recovery From Red Willow

Red Willow Counseling And Recovery is a specialist in alcohol and substance abuse recovery. We offer IOP and therapy practices that help put you on the path to sobriety. No matter what your struggle is, our specialized team is here to lift you up and push you to your greatest potential. Putting your needs first is crucial to healing, work with Red Willow to learn healthy coping skills and have a successful sobriety.

One of the myths about substance addiction is that it is seen as black-or-white; you are either addicted or you’re not. However, substance use, or even abuse, does not always mean you are addicted. And it may be affecting none, some, or much of the many aspects of your life. Addiction to a substance happens in stages and often times people can function while using and and still damage aspects of their lives. Today we will discuss what addiction and substance abuse can look like and when you should seek a substance use consultation.

While using substances isn’t doesn’t always lead to addiction, seeking help from Red Willow will help people look at their use, and if needed, develop a plan to take back control. Our team is always willing to have a substance use consultation with a person to see if their use is a problem and create options to address it. It’s always best to address a problem early before it gets out of control. We suggest to “Revive before Rehab”. 

What Classifies As Addiction?

Many people believe that if you can function in society while using substances, you are not addicted. However, people can hold down a job, stay out of jail, and maintain a relationship and can be in a cycle of abuse. Similar to other chronic conditions, addiction, and substance use will go through progressive stages as it increases in severity. 

Drug use can start with experimental or recreational use for social situations, and then it may become more frequent. Some drugs have a higher risk of becoming addictive than others. As time passes, use can become frequent and consistent, and then become more and more prevalent and even a higher priority than other areas of your life. Some symptoms of addiction are:

• Tolerance, meaning you need more to get the same effect
• Efforts to cut back or stop are unsuccessful
• Frequent and significant cravings
• Spending a lot of time getting, using and recovering from your use
• Continued use despite having negative effects

Any of these may be a sign that you should seek additional help. If you are experiencing these, you should ask yourself, “Is my relationship with substances problematic? Should I seek additional help to improve my relationship with substances?” Getting a Substance Use Consultation can be helpful to you and prevent continued harm.

Substance Abuse Impact On Areas Of Your Life

It can be difficult to define your relationship with addictive substances, but looking at how it impacts all areas of your social, emotional, and physical health are good place to start. Signs and symptoms will vary depending on the type of drug. Here are some examples of when you may want to consider a substance abuse consultation.

Financial 

Once a person is reliant on substances, they may start to spend significant money on getting their drug. This could lead to asking for large amounts of money from family members, stealing, or racking up credit card debt. While financial problems are not always connected to substance use, risky behaviors can also be a sign of substance abuse and contribute to financial problems. 

Health & Medical 

Substance use that affects your physical health is a clear sign you should seek additional help. Lack of sleep, lack of exercise or movement, disrupted sleep, exacerbated health issues, increased risk of sickness, and extreme fatigue can all be a sign of addiction. 

Mental 

Mental and physical health go hand in hand. Drugs may inhibit you from thinking clearly which could result in rash and poor decision making. They may also affect your memory and ability to plan and prioritize your day. Substance use can also decrease your mental stamina. Seeing our therapist for a consultation can help you determine if your use is impacting your brain functioning. 

Legal 

Risky behaviors and activities are another sign of substance abuse. Performing acts that you normally won’t do, such as stealing, speeding, reckless driving, vandalism, fighting, etc. could get you into legal trouble. Some substances are also illegal to use recreationally, which could lead to jail time or an infraction on your record. Getting a DUI is almost certain to indicate that your use is out of control.

Emotional

Irrational and emotionally based reactions can also come from substance abuse. Increases in anxiety and depression during substance use could be a reason to seek therapy. Having a substance abuse consultation can help you formulate a plan to form better habits and ensure that drug use doesn’t destabilize your mood, or make you quick to anger or get defensive. Substances can also impact your emotional well-being by increasing symptoms of mental illness or leading to irrational thoughts that disconnect you from your loved ones. 

Work & School 

Missing work or school or failing to meet expectations at these places is a sign you need a substance abuse consultation. When a substance starts to demand this much of your attention, it can be considered an addiction. Skipping work or recreational activities should be additional signs of concern, as well as getting fired or having difficulty finding a job.

Relationships 

All of us have different relationships in our lives. Family, friends, partners, co-workers, and more can all be affected by our use. Navigating healthy relationships can be hard enough without the influence of drugs, but substance abuse can lead to overreactions, distance, hurtful words, mistreatment, loss of trust, and instability. Substance use that causes you to lose important relationships in your life can be a sign of a deep dependence. If a friend or family member tells you that they are concerned, it is a clear indicator that your use is problematic.

Recreation

Those who start to lose interest in their favorite hobbies or activities could be struggling with addiction. A person can prioritize their use of substances over doing things that they once enjoyed. Sometimes a person loses interest in their activities and becomes bored with them compared to their drug use. Going out with friends or coworkers is a healthy work-life balance that helps us to improve our mood. Substance abuse can limit the time you have or want to spend with others. 

How Do I Know If I Need A Substance Use Consultation?

If substances have made any impact on multiple of the areas listed above, you can benefit from a conversation with one of our specialists. A consultation doesn’t have to mean you are addicted or controlled by substances. It can help you better understand your relationship with substances and formulate a plan to improve your mental, physical, and emotional health.

If during your consultation you discover that your use is problematic, our therapists and substance use specialists can help you develop ways to cope with withdrawal, decrease your substance use to a more normal level, or even eliminate it from your life. Sometimes we suggest a 30 to 90 day “cleanse” to see how you feel with substances not impacting you. We can look at ways for you to get help in and out of a therapy setting.  

If you notice substances are making a large impact in all of these areas, you should seek more professional help, including outpatient therapy, and IOP, or even residential treatment. Seeking more aggressive treatment may be necessary if you have already tried to quit substances on your own. 

Red Willow encourages anyone who is considering a consultation to schedule one. We work hard to make every patient feel seen and heard during appointments and want your goals to be the focus of our meetings. Ultimately, you get to decide what you are willing to do and not to do to improve your life.

Learn more about all our services on our website or contact our Salt Lake or Park City locations.