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Listening Skills Evaluation
How well you and your partner listen is critical to effective communication. This listening skills rating is a self-evaluation of the current level of your listening skills as well as what you perceive your partner’s listening skills to be. 
Think about how often you do the following and write in the number that you think matches that frequency? 
On a scale from 1 to 5, give yourself a score as follows: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = often, 5 = very often.

I avoid staying on any one subject with my partner	
I make assumptions about my partners feelings or thoughts.	
I respond to my partner’s suggestions or opinions with, "Yes, but…"	
I bring up past issues during current disagreements.	
I interrupt my partner’s conversation.	
I use sarcasm or jokes to respond when my partner talks	
I respond to a complaint with a complaint.	
I insult and criticize my partner.	
I respond to my partner with phrases like, "That’s ridiculous."	
I see only my point of view.	
TOTAL (Add up your scores.)	
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Now You rate your partner’s listening skills: How often do they do the following? On a scale from 1 to 5, give them a score as follows: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = often, 5 = very often.

My partner avoids staying on a subject until it is solved	 
My partner make assumptions about my feelings or thoughts.	 
My partner comments with, "Yes, but…" to my suggestions or opinions.	 
My partner brings up past issues during current disagreements.	 
My partner interrupts my conversation.	 
My partner use sarcasm or jokes to respond when I talk.	 
My partner responds to my complaints with a complaint.	 
My partner insults and criticizes me	 
My partner responds to me with phrases like, "That’s ridiculous."	 
My partner see only their point of view.	 
TOTAL (Add up your scores for your partner.)	 
Discussion:	
If you scored fewer than 7 correct answers you could benefit from new and improved communication skills. Your communication partner may not be feeling appreciated and understood.
Question 1 - The better response is:: Rarely if ever. The better approach is to stay on one topic until you both have at least understood one another. It is even better if you can reach agreement or a resolution if one is needed. Changing subjects may be an indication that there is discomfort around the particular topic or general stress. Practice and education on how to communicate may help.
Question 2 - The better response is:: Not often at all. When you make assumptions about other's feelings and thoughts you deny them the benefit of understanding. They may sense this and feel taken for granted at best and misunderstood and invalidated at worst. We all want to be understood and appreciated for who we are. Never assume. Ask for clarification before denying their feelings. Say 'I understand.' to let them know that you do understand and do care. You don't have to agree but you should give them the respect of understanding them.
Question 3 - The better response is:: Not very often. 'But' is a powerful word that often means, 'Forget what I just said now I'm going to give you the real answer.' If you mean 'yes' say so with no qualifier. If you mean 'no' say 'no.' If you really want to make a positive statement substitute in the word 'and' instead of 'but.'
Question 4 - The better response is:: I don't do this. Bringing up past issues only serves to create conflict. Deal with your current issues in a positive way and look for solutions rather than to live in the past. Staying in the present sends the message that you do care about the person who is talking. 
Question 5 - The better response is:: Rarely if ever. An interruption may be interpreted as saying 'I don't care what you have to say. I'm more important.' If you must interrupt for good reason it is wise to apologize and explain why you interrupted and then invite them to continue.
Question 6 - The better response is:: I don't. Sarcasm and jokes often feel like salt in an open wound to the person speaking. It is not only rude and irritating but says, 'I don't care what you have to say. You're not worth listening to.' Such behavior is unkind and disrespectful. If you feel the urge to engage in this behavior or your partner does, maybe its time to work on your relationship and communication skills.
Question 7 - The better response is:: Rarely. People often use counter-complaints to try to deflect the issue at hand. 'Oh yeah! You did _____ last week and..' It is a learned defensive reaction that is rarely productive. You cannot solve problems by trying to one-up them. A better option is to say something like 'Help me understand the problem here and let's see what we can do together to solve it.'
Question 8 - The better response is:: Rarely if ever. Insults and criticism hurt. If your intent is pain then you really need to reevaluate how you relate and what your goals are for the relationship. Kindness is the better option.
Question 9 - The better response is:: Never. When you deny someone's comments you are saying in essence that they are not worthy of your understanding. There are better approaches. If you are confused about something ask for clarification. If you don't agree even after clarification you might say 'I respect your position. My view is..' If it's not an important matter then don't make it so.
Question 10 - The better response is:: I consider what they have to say. If you see only your point of view then you are not leaving much room for others in your life. And that is the message you are sending. Is that what you want?
Source: https://www.positive-way.com/